Cherish Life.
July 6, 2007
I was never one to fear death. I’m not a religious person, so I don’t have a specific belief on what happens after life. For me it’s just something natural that all of us will have to go through and when that happens, I’ll learn if anyone was ever right or if they were all wrong.
As I got older, I started fearing death a bit more. Not my own death, but my loved ones’. Sometimes I would catch myself wondering how devastated I would be if my parents passed away. I would have tears in my eyes, but what could I do? It’s part of life and it will eventually happen. It’s just nature taking its course.
After my son was born, things changed. While my heart was filled with sadness every time I wondered about my parents death, whenever I imagined something happening to my son, I would start feeling dizzy, out of breath, feeling like something would be pushing against my chest. I felt like I couldn’t move or breathe. I felt desperation.
They raised us, they taught us and they fed us. It is a sad moment when your parents pass away, but we consider it as part of our natural life. We expect it. We see it coming and we are able to move on. But when our child passes away, that’s a new ball court. It’s an aberration of nature, of what things should be. That’s not nature’s plan. We feel like we’re being cheated.
We should be raising, teaching and feeding them. Not burying them.
A lot of readers will probably be upset with this comparison, but I do feel that the pain of burying your child is far more painful than the pain of burying your parents. That’s not to compare the love we feel for them, but psychologically speaking, we’re better prepared to handle our parent’s death.
There’s no greater pain to a parent than to bury his own child.
Believe it or not, this post isn’t supposed to be a downer. It’s supposed to celebrate life.
Before I had my kid, I never thought about the things the little one would make me see in a different perspective. He changed not only how I see death, but how I see life. How I see love. He changed the way I spend my money, changed how I valued moments vs things.
My second kid is due anytime now and I can’t wait to see that little face, those little fingers and that tiny feet. I don’t know why, but they are born with huge testicles, and I can’t wait to see those too!
New life is something amazing. It has the power to change a grown man’s perspective on things. A kid makes you realize what love is. Love is that fear you feel of losing someone. A kid can make you realize how fragile we really are and that there a lot of things more important than money: having a healthy family, being able to enjoy moments with them, having moments that you’ll cherish forever. They are priceless.
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July 13th, 2007 at 4:52 am
What a touching story. You hit the nail on the head-it is about moments not things. Having lost both of my parents, I can say first hand, it’s heartbreaking. To this day I remind anyone I know how lucky they are to have their parents still living. I stress how important it is to tell they you love them, and to create as many memories with them as you possibly can.
Losing a child is worse. My best friend lost her son, father and husband in a two year period. She said that the death of her son was the most devastating for her. You’re right, we’re not suppose to “bury our children”, but it happens, unfortunately way too often.
Yes, we do need to cherish our loved ones, and especially those babies. Congratulations to your and your wife on the soon-to-be addition to your family.
July 16th, 2007 at 9:13 pm
[...] I wrote on another post about the pain of losing a child. I’ll be sad when my parents pass away, but I know I’ll be back on my feet in a few weeks. However, if something ever happened to my kid, I’ll have no idea how I’ll cope with that. Right now, just the idea of losing him makes me feel helpless and breathless, so it is possible that I would be so psychologically devastated that I wouldn’t be able to work for a long period of time after his death. It is an important fact that is often ignored, but the fact is, we’re better prepared for our parents’ death than for our kid’s death. Like I mentioned in my other post, we sadly wait for the moment when we’ll bury our dads, but burying our kids is something unthinkable to us. It’s against nature’s law. [...]