It’s easier to blame others

June 14, 2008

This will be a “guest post” from a friend that is going through some tough times. Like many americans, she lost her home, her husband is working 2 jobs to get ends to meet and she’s having a hard time finding jobs.

Beautiful house, new cars, unlimited funds available to be borrowed… She thought the good times would last forever… It’s what I called “the invincibility complex“. Unfortunately for her and her son in law, it didn’t.

She has quite an interesting life. Straight from a Mexican Soap Opera script. I’m trying to get her to be a regular blogger here, so let’s cross our fingers. But for now, just a guest  post from her:

In the last few months I have heard a lot criticism about the United States where people blame the current economic crisis for everything bad that has recently happened in their lives. Yesterday I spoke to my son-in-law about this issue. He is returning to his country after living here like a king for nearly 10 years. He complained that he had lost those 10 years of his life pursuing the so-called American Dream.

My son-in-law had been provided with one fantastic beginning. Ten years ago, he received from his father both a house and a business, a store, to take care of and prosper. But, like many people who do not budgeted themselves carefully, he spent more money than he had made. He hadn’t paid proper attention to his business and his customers, and he became obsessed with ebay, and opened up large accounts with major companies that he could not afford.

I told him that even though the country was going through an economic crisis, his losses could not be blamed on America’s faults. But even this crisis, I believe, is due in large part to a lot of personal mistakes that people had made, and their inability to change and overcome their personal failures.

In my case, my husband received an inheritance. We bought a house, and because he did not look for a better job like he could have, we wound up refinancing and refinancing to pay the ever-increasing mortgage. We later sold that house and then bought another one much more expensive, thanks to me! We were still unable to find good jobs and again took out loans. Now in the midst of the mortgage crisis, we are again selling our house, but for much less than what we paid for it.

So who is to blame for this debacle, the United States? No, I think not. I blame my husband and myself. But I thank God for giving us the opportunity to go on after such a difficult experience, because even though I am still looking for work, my husband has found two good jobs, and we have reached a positive level of maturity, hope, and forbearance. I am still looking for work, but know that together, my husband and I will find a way to improve our lives. We have made some bad mistakes, but most importantly, we have learned from them. The future still holds dear for us and we haven’t given up.

They made mistakes and are going through tough times, but I applaud my friend for taking responsibility and learning from her mistakes instead of blaming others and running away like her son in law did. He took the easy way out.

Another lesson that we can learn from her story is that we all love to think that we’ll have a shoulder to support us in tough times. She thought she could count on family and friends, but as I write this post, she’s packing her stuff without a place to go. She’ll probably end up in a motel 6 for a few nights while trying to find an apartment at a reasonable price to rent.

We all have to be prepared for emergencies. Some of us are lucky to have support and help in tough times. But we can’t count on them. They might be going through tough times themselves.

I take her stories to heart. At the time I only have about 2 months of emergency funds. And I’m not working as hard on building it up, so that’s something I MUST change, My goal is to have 9 to 12 months in a combination of short term CDs and high yield savings.

Posted in Finances, Lifestyle